Author Archives: Beus

About Beus

I’m a teacher, storyteller, husband, and father. My last name sounds just like “Zeus”, but with a “B”. This site is a place to share my (ultra messy) life with you–a journal of the journey so to say. The blog focuses around a few things, but storytelling is huge, and one day I hope to release a heroic epic tale.

How You Know You Have a Great Mom (…and a kitty gif)

Kitty Wrinkles

A kitty playing with bed sheets, for your viewing pleasure. And now…on with the blog post.

A moment when my mother revealed what kind of a mother she is.

Bicycles and Suitcases Do Not Mix

Earlier this week I stayed the night at my parents’ house while traveling nearby for a doctor’s appointment.

I traveled primarily on bicycle.

Suitcases and bicycles do not mix.

All that I could bring, therefore, was what would fit in my backpack. Continue reading

Update on Stuff – May 2017

Youtube update on things, strabismus, motivation, etc.

Quick synposis

Trying a few new things medically. I hope to be doing some art at some point in the near future (less than a year?).

It’s been interesting over the last year, having to put my passions on hold while we figure out how to get past this obstacle of strabismus. It’s given me time to think about why it is that I like sharing stories, doing art, etc.

At the bottom of it all, I really enjoy simply sharing my life and passions with people. I enjoy watching all the stories from people online, both from people known and unknown.

Many stories out there have brightened my life and my day. And at the times that I’ve been able to brighten the lives of others, I just get such a kick out of that.

Things may not ever be the way they were before–i.e. full-time all day every day working on stories–and that’s okay! But I really, truly love these things, and I hope to contribute

And I want to share those with you. So we’ll see how things go.

Finding the right motivation to keep in shape

Tying in my goals to be in shape with my passions is the most successful thing I’ve done so far.

The problem with gyms…and running…and diets…and…

The Rock at the Gym

Like most adult Americans, I’ve tried dozens of strategies to get my body healthy. Most attempts end in a climactic pizza-for-breakfast fest.

My first good attempt was Body for Life, a “12 Weeks to Change Your Life” strategy. You know the type: the weight-loss program where you see before and after pics of people that look too amazing to be true, except they are true?

I followed the program. Lost twenty pounds! And then life got busy, and I went right back to where I was before.

Dang.

Eating at the Gym

Next, Continue reading

An Unexpected Blessing of Marriage

Places in my mind that I had to work so hard to keep empty before marriage evolve in a surprising way now that I’m hitched.

Born and raised a good ol’ M’armon

Growing up as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (a.k.a. the Mormons), I had to follow super strict rules.

Among those rules, perhaps the hardest was The Law of Chastity: No pornography, no masturbation, no sex before marriage, and keep those thoughts in your brain super squeaky clean.

That last one in particular–clean thoughts–for an imaginative young boy: that was a doozey. Continue reading

How I spent the last 7 hours of my life spraying down my computer with bleach

You’d think I’d know better by now. But nope, true story.

1. I’ve got this great idea for a post!

Excited Guy Meme

Hey, I’ve got some interesting information I’d like to post. There’s this thing happening right now on the web and I can record it with some screen-capture software. Then I’ll make a meme out of it and post it on the web. It’ll be great! Everyone will share it and I’ll have contributed to the gentrification of The Internet.

2. Gotta get that screen-recording software running

Work Hard meme

So, I’ll need to install some software to make this thing. What was the name of that software I used years and years ago? Camtasia? Is that it? Ahh, yeah. It worked great back then. Let’s install it.

3. Hmm, could something be wrong with this installation? Nahhh.

When You Go Too Fast meme

Hmm, last time I was installing this I don’t remember the software asking me over and over again if I “AGREE” to installing this stuff. Doesn’t it just have to ask me “once” if I agree?

Oh well. I’ve used this stuff before and it worked great, so let’s keep moving.

Intermission

Titanic meets Michael Bay explosions meme

4. I’ve made a terrible mistake

computer virus meme

…Why is my computer now flooding with biki babes and product suggestions? Shouldn’t it be recording?

It couldn’t be that I…a comfortable computer user…who even knows a little bit of Javascript and CSS…it couldn’t be that anyone such as me…so smart as I am…could…dang…

5. Sttaahhhhhp! Please!

Madly Typing Cat meme

5. The only solution

Burning Computer meme

And we’ll purge this part of my hard drive…and this part…and this part…. Minor detour. Should only take…oh…all night or so to fix.

Hours and hours later…

6. Good to go again…

Semi Missing a Wheel on the highway meme

There we go. I just had to run eighteen full-system scans, download three types of malware removal, and spend $60 on software. There’s only a few programs that are permanently uninstallable, due to problems with the computer registry, and I can still access most of my documents folder. That’ll do. So, let’s write that blog post…

7. Meanwhile…deep within the belly of my computer…

Evil Witch Hiding meme…I won’t be up all night thinking about what might still be lurking in the belly of my desktop beast…really, I won’t…

 

A quick lesson in how to be me on the phone

Image of pastor exclaiming B-E-U-S

If, for any reason in the course of our friendship, you have to answer the phone and pretend to be me, here’s a quick tutorial.

Nice lady on the phone

“Okay…I’ve got your address for this application here, and now I just need your name.”

“It’s Bryan…spelled with a “Y”…and last name is Beus. That’s “B” “E” “U” “S”.”

*sound of the keyboard clacking*

“Okay, I’ve got Brian Bues [pronounces it “Bauze”]. “B” “U” “E” “S”?”

“Nope. Beus. That’s “B” as in Boy. “E” as in Edward. “U” as in Uncle. “S” as in Sam.

Beus. “B” “E” “U” “S”.”

“Okay. Brian B-E-U-S.”

“Correct. And you got the “Y” in Bryan?”

*keyboard clacking*

“Oh…yes…Bryan Beus [Bause]…”

“Great.”

“Okay, and can I get your email?”

**Thinks to myself: I should probably get a different email…**

Scene Retelling – The Once and Future King – Part 4

Young Knight - Dutch School

Young Knight – Dutch School

This is part 4 of a retelling of a scene from The Once and Future King book series, by T.H. White. To read the preceding part of this story sequence, click here.

What is done, is done

Mordred’s sword did not do the full task of slaying the creature, and the poor beast writhed in pain. Gawain raised his sword and followed Mordred’s action, and then all together the four boys set about the work of finishing the creature off. Continue reading

Scene Retelling – The Once and Future King – Part 3

This is part 3 of a retelling of a scene from The Once and Future King book series, by T.H. White.

A maiden’s power

When a unicorn feels the presence of an innocent young maiden in its wood it responds by coming to greet her.

For our young maiden, Meg, it was an experience beyond expectation. Its neck was full of grace and power, and its mane flowed as though it was underwater. She stopped squirming and dried her eyes as the unicorn trotted through the tall grass towards her. Continue reading

Scene Retelling – The Once and Future King – Part 2

The Once and Future King - Book Cover

The Once and Future King – Book Cover

This is a continuation. To read the first part of this story, click here.

They hatch a plan

One day, while peering out the window watching their mother in the courtyard below the four boys overheard shouting with her servants. It appeared that in her desire to prove to herself she was still a beautiful young maiden she had tried to hunt down a unicorn–a feat which can only be accomplished by a virgin. Their mother, of course, wasn’t, and so spent the entire night in the forest waiting for a unicorn that would never come. She was angry at this, and likely embarrassed in front of the servants, and the sound of her shouting drew particular interest to her boys.

They had not seen her nor spoken with her more than a sentence or two for most of their lives. They felt that there must be something wrong with them for her to not spend any time raising her children. Hearing her so upset gave them an idea of how they could prove their worth. Continue reading

The Unicorn is Attacked - Tapestry

Scene Retelling – The Once and Future King – Part 1

This scene from T.H. White’s The Once and Future King I read years ago stays in my memory. Today I’m retelling it in my own words.

The Unicorn is Attacked - Tapestry

Detail – The Unicorn is Attacked, ca. 1495–1505

Mordred and Gawain had messed up childhoods

I’ve always loved this scene from T.H. White’s Arthurian series. I haven’t read it in several years and am not going to bother rereading it now, since it’s more fun to just tell it from memory.

Want to skip straight to reading the scene? Scroll down to the next header!

To give you a quick background on what you’re about to see, this scene takes place at the beginning of the second book in the series. Elsewhere, Arthur has already drawn the sword from the stone, and is learning how to be king.

His nephews, on the other hand, are still children. They live on the island of Orkney with their mother, who is a witch–the bad sort of witch.

The children by name are Gawain, Gahareth, Agravain, and Mordred.

Gawain is the big, tall, brawny and brave one. He’s a bit dumb, has red curly hair, and enjoys pushing the others around.

Gahareth and Agravain are complete opposites, but we won’t go into too many details for the sake of brevity.

Now Mordred is the odd one. You see, Mordred is supposedly King Arthur’s “nephew”–at least, that’s what everyone thinks.  In truth, he’s more than that: he’s also King Arthur’s bastard incestuous son. Continue reading