How I spent the last 7 hours of my life spraying down my computer with bleach

You’d think I’d know better by now. But nope, true story.

1. I’ve got this great idea for a post!

Excited Guy Meme

Hey, I’ve got some interesting information I’d like to post. There’s this thing happening right now on the web and I can record it with some screen-capture software. Then I’ll make a meme out of it and post it on the web. It’ll be great! Everyone will share it and I’ll have contributed to the gentrification of The Internet.

2. Gotta get that screen-recording software running

Work Hard meme

So, I’ll need to install some software to make this thing. What was the name of that software I used years and years ago? Camtasia? Is that it? Ahh, yeah. It worked great back then. Let’s install it.

3. Hmm, could something be wrong with this installation? Nahhh.

When You Go Too Fast meme

Hmm, last time I was installing this I don’t remember the software asking me over and over again if I “AGREE” to installing this stuff. Doesn’t it just have to ask me “once” if I agree?

Oh well. I’ve used this stuff before and it worked great, so let’s keep moving.

Intermission

Titanic meets Michael Bay explosions meme

4. I’ve made a terrible mistake

computer virus meme

…Why is my computer now flooding with biki babes and product suggestions? Shouldn’t it be recording?

It couldn’t be that I…a comfortable computer user…who even knows a little bit of Javascript and CSS…it couldn’t be that anyone such as me…so smart as I am…could…dang…

5. Sttaahhhhhp! Please!

Madly Typing Cat meme

5. The only solution

Burning Computer meme

And we’ll purge this part of my hard drive…and this part…and this part…. Minor detour. Should only take…oh…all night or so to fix.

Hours and hours later…

6. Good to go again…

Semi Missing a Wheel on the highway meme

There we go. I just had to run eighteen full-system scans, download three types of malware removal, and spend $60 on software. There’s only a few programs that are permanently uninstallable, due to problems with the computer registry, and I can still access most of my documents folder. That’ll do. So, let’s write that blog post…

7. Meanwhile…deep within the belly of my computer…

Evil Witch Hiding meme…I won’t be up all night thinking about what might still be lurking in the belly of my desktop beast…really, I won’t…