A Little Miracle

Coming in October of 2017!

Amanda and I are thrilled to welcome this little one into the world.

A little history

We had just about given up hope that we would be able to have children. We’re both cruising through the latter half of our thirties, so time is precious. This was our last try at IVF before we moved on to adoption.

Whenever people bring up the question about whether it will be a boy or a girl, all I can feel is just gratitude that it has a head and a torso! I saw them! On the ultrasound! Science can do that!

At times when my friends and family have suffered a miscarriage or had a child die not long after birth, they always say something along the lines of, “…She taught us so much.” I didn’t really have any context to understand what that meant. Now I do.

A new type of purpose

For example, last night I stayed up later than I should have playing Don’t Starve, an entertaining scary video game.

We’ve all done stuff like that, right? And we’ve all felt guilty about it, too? Thought so. Glad we’re on the same page.

The interesting thing is that there’s a NEW sense of guilt that accompanies those moments. Whereas before the shame was just ’cause I knew it was going to make me tired for work and school, now I think about the fact that if I keep doing this I’ll be teaching my innocent little kid bad habits…

And, let’s be honest, I’ll probably teach my kid LOADS of bad habits, including that one. But stay with me, it’s a new sense of purpose. It’s not just about me, nor about Amanda. There’s a cute, innocent, and dependent little kid on the way who has no idea what a tragically flawed father s/he inherited.

I just hope I can cause the least amount of damage.